It is almost 36 hours until my relocation departure, expat edition and I keep asking myself, “Have I done everything?” Is that even possible, is that ever possible, and am I kidding myself by trying too damn hard, more often than not, to make things happen?From shipping to packing to goodbyes, have I done “everything”? What is everything even and if I do not or have not, does it even make a difference? These are the kinds of questions I will be wrestling with as I embark on this next chapter of my life.
It is perhaps seemingly irrelevant except that I have been challenged to let go of my plans, let go of the way I think things should be and/or would be. Let go of the moments that do not turn out the way I planned or expected. However, if you do not plan – at least have an idea, a expectation, then what do you have? In my mind its a toss up between a hot mess and a shit show.
I look forward to a fresh start, a rewrite of sorts, or at the very least a strong editing of my life. A 40s that is not my mother’s 40s, nor my grandmother’s. A life that I must navigate between being raised on traditional values and ideals that are seemingly obsolete or archaic in this digital, social media driven new era. There is literally no one to look up to, no one to guide me, and even less who may understand. Being a trailblazer is not necessarily all its cracked to be and I supposed what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so we shall see.