My winter holiday in Thailand was a wake up call! Having gained weight, the heaviest I have ever been, I knew it was more than just weight weighing my down. Everything from finances to fitness needs an overhaul – or a reawakening perhaps. These last few months although exhilarating in many ways has also been a major life sucking energy drain in others. So while I am committed to significant changes, I knew I could not tackle everything “all at once”. My personal history has shown that baby steps and incremental work are best for forming habits with my particular personality and constitution.

Ultimately my desires centered on:

  • a regular practice of writing, reading, meditating and yoga for my mental health
  • consistent cardio, strength training, and dietary modifications for my physical health and medical concerns (and mental health)
  • financially consistent giving, saving and debt annihilation for my future, legacy, stability (and mental health)

I want these things to be routine without drudgery, obviously not overwhelming, realistically maintainable, and easily transferable, no matter what situation or circumstances I find myself.

For nearly three weeks, I have been waking up earlier to give myself enough time for a hot cup of tea, meditation, magic work and breakfast – all before going to work or stepping out into the world. Two weeks ago I started reading before I go to bed (at least 30 minutes), rather than being on devices or watching television. This past week I add the commitment to attend yoga class in the morning for four weeks (with the understanding that each week we start earlier and class gets longer). Finally, I continue to write in my journals since returning home even though this is only my second blog post three weeks into 2018.

And this morning, this Saturday morning instead of sleeping in, I got up for 7 am yoga class. In an abbreviated morning routine, I made my tea and took it with me. I saged myself and trekked out in the dark, cool morning to the gym. Since I was the first one there I turned on the heat, set up my mat, and waited. I know the yoga instructor and the other people who come to class, so I quickly realized there was no class today. However, I led myself through a 30 minute practice. Nearly four years of yoga practice from classes to trainings and I am not confident I have ever led my self (seriously) in practice. Even as a children’s yoga teacher, those routines are pretty much committed to memory, so muscle memory auto pilot.

It is almost one in the afternoon, more than six hours since my day started. I never did finish my tea, it is sitting right here at my feet. I cleaned up the kitchen, tidied up the house, made and consumed a matcha smoothie bowl. I think I have been writing this post for like four hours because I got distracted by Facebook Messenger and then Facebook and then email and then texts and then the internet. I would still like to read today (and reread some things and make notes), catch up on my Ayurveda training modules and homework, do some food prep and cooking for the week, work prep, Netflix, rest(ore), and shower – I should probably shower today, sometime soonish.

The point is my weekend is two days. There are so many hours in those two days. I may do all of those things or some or none. I may devise new or different things to do. I may decide I need some fresh air or I may very well stay cooped up. I may socialize or be a hermit. Who knows?

But my laptop is at 6% so seems like a good time to recharge it, take a shower and nourish my body with lunch . . .

keep you posted . . .

hopefully as I intend to blog more regularly . . .

or rather incrementally.


happy birthday to me

Just after midnight, but still nearly 14 hours before my officially birth time – on the other side of the world, because it’s not even January 14th some wheres.

If 365 days ago someone had told me half of what happened in my life in 2017 was going to happen, truthfully I would never have believed it. And 365 days from now when I reflect back on 2018, I cannot wait to see how life has yet again surprised, defied, and molded me.

Last year I learned that absolutely anything, literally anything, is possible. That my plans are nothing more than seeds that life actually uses to manifest my dreams, hopes, desires, fears, and all. That failing to plan is sometimes the best fucking idea ever. That while hoping for the best is awesome and all, expect the worse and leave room for less disappointment. That when you least expect it and without notice the people who genuinely love and care for you will show up – hugely. That family and love are not always predetermined at birth or by blood – that I only navigate this thing called life solo if I choose to, however I do not have to. That opportunities are limitless and I have just begun to scratch the surface.

2017 had epically broad strokes, with everything from emergency hospital admittance to relocating overseas and everything in between from pulling off New Zealand in less than a month to welcoming a new niece in those final few weeks. I feel like I learned so much in just a year. Just a year, 365 days of conceivably almost every kind of high and low imaginable – that I survived and thrived off of nevertheless.

This is always my official new start, when my new year begins, January 14. 42 I have no idea what you have in store for me. Per usual, I have some ideas. Some are far fetched perhaps, many are reoccurring wishes, while others are fresh and most will likely happen with or without my acquiescence.

Thank you 2017 for lots of fundamentals and foundation.

2018 let’s cultivate the fuck of ‘em!